Here's my first and last post of 2008. This first semester of college has been an interesting ride; I've been afflicted by a new various ailment every week, discovered that picking up Latin after a 1.5 year lapse is indeed possible (I came out with an A), and that I can potentially succeed at my chosen major. I've conquered the fear that I'm not tough enough or cut out for an International Affairs major; I've gotten over the paranoia that my roommate secretly hates me (ok mostly). I went to church at least half of the Sundays I've been in town (I had thought that college meant I was done with church, but I suppose that faith was not done with me) and met wonderful new people there.
I've devoted myself to the ongoing process of purging my room of unnecessary, outdated items. It's unbelievable the items that I hoard in plastic bags, in boxes: 6 plastic spoons, an address book from 3rd grade, a robot keychain, ticket stubs, brochures, event programs. I no longer have to collect paper evidence to collect memories, although I do want to continue "scrapbooking" some of the more important items. That's more of a summer project in my opinion.
I've bought a couple of pairs of
good shoes, a step up from always choosing from the best of Ross's pickings. I feel more stable in terms of my emotions, and I feel more confident that I can choose greatness and success, that these things aren't just ascribed to the lucky. More things seem possible to me; I'm not "doomed" to the same life circumstances I was raised in.
2008, the year I was 18, had more rocky transitions than I had expected. Going to college was not entirely a smooth or graceful process for me, but it was rewarding and, although I can't judge this entirely, has caused me to grow. My tastes are more my own, less childish and more refined. Apartment living is possible, which is tremendously exciting for me.
I am also very happy to be soon entering into the fourth year of my partnership with David. Over time I learn more about the wonderful person that he is; he has become more modest over time, but I will say these things without censorship: he is extremely kind and giving of himself; he almost never declines to help somone who asks; he is so sweet and caring to me, I don't know how he puts up with my craziness sometimes. I love him for everything, because he cracks me up. I'm glad we're based on laughter and smiles, it's our relationship's best medicine.
So there was 2008, my year I spent worrying, debating, sick, happy, more free and more confined. Ironically, at home I was more free to play really loud music and run around wearing whatever I pleased. Yet overall good outcomes came from even the worst situations. I'm looking forward to 2009, and I will now go back to cleaning my room in order to make room for breathing space.
